City Essentials
05.19.20

City Essentials: For Dogs

Hi friends!

This is Colbie, the dog. My mom let me write this and I figured I would share a few of my favorite city essentials. Who knew I’d be living in a city? One day back in February, my mom told me to get in the car and the next thing I knew, we were in this new place I’d never seen before. We haven’t left since so I guess it’s my new home.  It’s called New York City and it’s pretty cool. We go on a lot of walks and I meet a lot of friends in the parks. I’ve never seen so many dogs in my life. I also love when the doormen give me treats when I walk by. Anyways, let’s get into my favorite things for this new city life. You’ll want to get a NYC dog license here too if you’re new. 

Leash Kit

I’ve used this collar for the last year or so and then my mom got me a matching leash and harness. They have a harness walk kit and a collar walk kit. This brand is nice because the collar and leash never get smelly or dirty thanks to the material it’s made of. The harness has 3 different attachment points for the leash so it’s super comfortable to use for everyone. My mom has been a loyal customer since the first day they launched! You can occasionally find this brand at Nordstrom, Anthro, and Bloomingdales but I’ve found that the best prices are directly from the brand’s site. 

Bags and Poop Bag Holder

Gone are the days of privacy in the backyard. You’ll need a very large quantity of poop bags for dog life in the city. There is pretty much no area or situation in the city where it’s ok to not clean it up so it’s important to always have some stocked up. One time after we first moved here, my mom forgot one and we had to stand there until she could call my dad and get him to meet us with an emergency poop bag. I love this bag holder because, again, it’s easy to keep clean (and chic… who doesn’t love a chic poop bag?) and stays attached to the leash. For bags, I like these because they are better for the environment. 

Water Bottle with Bowl

When I tell you that we go on more walks, that is an understatement. We not only go on more walks throughout the day, but on the weekends my mom likes to go on very, very long walks all across Central Park, and it can get really hot here! It’s nice to have one of these water bottles (with a bowl attached) in her backpack so that I stay hydrated all day long. 

Grooming Wipes and Shampoo

On rainy days, these wipes come in handy so I don’t track dirt and germs around the apartment. You’d be surprised at how dirty our paws can get from just one long walk.

Dog Booties or Dog Leggings (yes, those exist)

One day, I noticed a couple of dogs wearing pants in the park…….. Apparently that’s normal here, especially in the winter. From what I’ve heard, when the roads are covered in salt for snow, it can be painful on the paws. Turns out, they’re called “dog leggings” LOL. My mom ordered me these dog leggings after I told her all my dog friends had them so I can’t wait to wear them next winter. They’re also nice for a rainy day, not just snow/ice. But seriously, once winter rolls around, I’ve heard dog booties at least are a must. Including some others:

Rain Jacket

Another sight you’ll see often in NYC, dogs in rain jackets! I’ve included some of my favorite ones on the internet here:

Mini Backpack

This one’s mainly for all the dog moms out there who like to go on long walks. If you move to NY, get prepared for way more walking than what you’re used to.  A mini backpack is always a good idea so you can keep balls/treats/water in there. 

Did I miss anything? We also love the Furbo camera because it throws me treats when I’m alone although we haven’t had to use that in a while.

Thanks for reading! Stay tuned for my “dog day in the life” video coming soon!

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Life in NYC
05.01.20

A Walk in the Park

If you’ve watched any of my stories on Instagram over the last two months, you probably have realized that we’ve spent a lot of our recent time walking through the park. Luckily, we were able to find an apartment we loved right between two big beautiful parks in the city, Central Park and Riverside Park. If you’ve never visited Central Park before, I highly recommend taking some time to stroll along the more quiet paths a little higher up in the park (70’s, 80’s, 90’s at least). We usually enter the park in the 90’s streets and the first time I walked in there, I felt like I was walking into actual heaven. The lawns were so lush and green and the beauty has only multiplied in flowers and greenery since that first walk. I remember wishing I could bottle up that feeling but, turns out, I somehow still feel like every single day. Central Park blows me away every single time I walk through there and it’s been a definite perk of living in the Upper West Side during this time where almost everything else in the city has been shut down. Before we lived here, I had only experienced the southern part of the park closer to Midtown so this area of the park really feels brand new to me. Colbie is still living her best life sniffing all of the flowers and going on many more walks than she did at her old house.

Every walk I take in the park, I wish I could transport my friends and family here to walk with me so they can experience the beauty in person. Until then, I decided I’ll share a virtual “walk in the park” on the blog and share what I’ve been feeling, thinking, and experiencing while getting more and more settled here in the city… all the things we’d chat about if we were all on a walk in the park together.

I actually don’t think I’ve sat down to share my thoughts in writing about how I’m feeling about living in NYC. It’s obviously been a strange time in the world for everyone, especially here in New York, but aside from the weirdness of all that is going on, I have thoroughly enjoyed this new home that we have created. Of course, there are parts of NC that I miss dearly but, for the most part, I’ve kept a surprisingly positive spirit and a very adaptive attitude about all things NYC.

I didn’t think that I would enjoy it as much as I do but, ever since moving here, I’ve been appreciating the small details that come along with living in this city… the neighbor who sang out of his window (who turned out to be famous), everyone cheering on the essential workers at 7pm, the downstairs pianist in our building practicing their songs each evening at the same time, grabbing a fresh bagel across the street on Saturday mornings, the sunlight that pours into our bedroom (this was not the case in our old home), living completely car-free and being able to walk everywhere (even doctors appointments which is a huge perk), the creaky old floors in our 100+ yr old apartment, the list goes on and on. New York City in general just has so much character in so many ways. I even love the smell of the old laundry basement… is that weird? I already know it’s going to be really hard when the time comes to leave. I’m not 100% sure when that’ll be but, for now, I am soaking in every detail. There is a feeling you get here that is indescribable. It’s not all a concrete jungle – there are actually some really quaint areas that I never knew existed. Very “You’ve Got Mail” vibes. It’s a special place.

Mentally, I’ve been feeling very happy and somehow calmer living in NYC, which sounds like the opposite of what I would expect. I feel calmer yet more motivated and inspired than ever before. I think it’s all of the “new” to me experiences. Maybe it’s because there aren’t a lot of things to do currently other than stay inside or go on walks and it’s forced me to slow my brain down and focus more on what matters. Do you know your enneagram number? Mine is a 3 wing 4 or an “achiever” mixed with an “individualist”. So, previously to living here, I was always “go, go, go” with my to-do lists. I still have daily to-do lists but my approach has been a little different lately. I actually take a lot more time for myself, ex) a walk in the park. I now look at moments like that as “productive” whereas my old self would just let our dog out in the yard if I felt like I didn’t have time for a walk. Setting aside time to reflect and enjoy the present moment has occurred more frequently here for me I guess you could say. This is probably an effect of staying home and also staying at a new-to-us home. Have you taken a moment to just do something for yourself that may not come across as the “most productive”? Those moments are actually much more productive than you’d think. Maybe even the most.

I do really look forward to the time when I can meet new friends in the city or go to dinner and catch up with our old friends here. I can’t wait to go to the park without a mask on so I can really breathe the air. 

I also have to say that for the first time, I’ve honestly felt really excited to have children in the future. When we first decided to move here for TJ’s job, our first thought was “well, it’s a perfect time because we don’t have kids”, but truthfully, there is so much to experience here with children and the city just makes me more and more excited for that day to eventually come so that they can potentially experience what we are experiencing. The park brings me back to field trip days and it makes me smile seeing children experience it. TJ says I’m creepy when I say that but you know what I’m saying. That’s been on my mind a lot lately. 

My mind has also been on everyone affected significantly by the world’s current situation. At first, I felt so helpless, but then I realized that every little “thank you” and appreciation gift meant so much to those out on the frontlines. I decided to put 100% of my last month’s Etsy shop proceeds towards COVID-relief and essential worker appreciation gift-cards. The shop raised close to $1500 for April so I’m excited to sit down tonight and organize all of the nominations and get all of those sent out. By the way, I just recently decided to sell photography prints on Etsy from our travels and, now, daily walks. You can check out the shop here. If you know of an essential worker that you’d like to thank, I’ve noticed that you can really not go wrong with a Sephora giftcard or gift-card for dinner delivery.

And, now I will leave you with some of my favorite park photos I snapped while on my walks lately. I hope you all have a great weekend. We are supposed to have the best weather here yet this year and I am looking forward to spending quite a lot of time enjoying the sun.

FOR THE WALK:

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Gift Guides
04.29.20

Mother’s Day Gift Ideas

I can’t believe Mother’s Day is in less than two weeks. While I wish I could treat my mom to a trip to NYC to spend a spring weekend here with me, that will have to wait! But for now, there are a lot of great options online to send to the moms in your life. Personally, I’m sending my mom one of her favorite photos framed from Artifact Uprising along with some smoothie cups from Daily Harvest. 

(1) ALOFreestyle Sweatshirt – the most cozy sweatshirt made for all lounging needs! I have this high-quality sweatshirt in 4 colors and haven’t been able to find anything that compares! The inside is super soft and ALO is a great place to splurge on your mama!

(2) Halluci Cross Band Slippers – the absolute hands down best slippers with the memory foam insole and perfect for all the time we’ve been spending at home!

(3) Revlon Salon One-Step Hair Dryer and Volumizer – one of the most popular hair products on the market right now and Caitie (part of the PITP team) raves about it. She says it’s an “amazing product through and through gives the perfect blowout. It takes a few times to get a hang of how to give the best volume but dries my hair amazingly “!

(4) Kopi Mug & Warmer Set – to always keep her coffee warm on those busy mornings!

(5) Slip Pure Silk Pillowcase – to give her a instant boost of luxury while she gets her beauty sleep. This silk pillowcase also allows for better absorption of skin products into the skin as opposed to a regular pillowcase.

(6) simplehuman Mini Countertop Mirror – because who doesn’t need a great magnification mirror when getting ready?!

(7) Barefoot Dreams Cozy Robe – perfect for cozy mornings at home during this time! If you’ve never treated someone to Barefoot Dreams anything, it’s basically a no-fail gift idea.

(8) Reah Leather Backpack – the perfect bag for all the many errands she runs on the daily or even just a nice walk to the park.

(9) Chemex Classic Pour Over – an affordable coffeemaker to make as much coffee as she needs to make it through the day.

(10) Afloral Faux Olive Branch Tree –  olive trees are trending for the home right now and they help add some brightness and natural feel to any room!

(11) Magnolia Table Cookbook – so she can master all the recipes by the time the whole family can get together again.

(12) Daily Harvest Gift Box – such a great gift that eases the hassle of making breakfast while staying at the top of her health game! I’m a major fan of the smoothies.

(13) Anthropologie Salt & Sand Scented Candle – No better time to make your home smell fresh with a new candle.

(14) Madewell Ashcroft Sunglasses – here’s to summer!

(15) Skylar Scent Club – sign her up for a monthly membership so she can receive a new, clean scent every month. The gift that keeps on giving! You can also gift her a set of scents along with a giftcard so she can choose which scent she wants full-size. Can’t recommend this brand enough for perfume with cleaner ingredients.

(16) Janna Low Top Sneaker – high quality white sneakers are another no-fail gift idea! This style is a spring essential (looks great with dresses, pants, you name it and these are 40% off).

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Entertaining & Recipes
04.25.20

Two Favorite Breakfast Casseroles

Like many others, we’ve been spending a lot more time in the kitchen lately trying to find simple (but nutritious) recipes using easy to find ingredients. We’ve been trying to limit the grocery store trips and, when we do have to go, we’ll peek our heads out the window to see how long the line is first (a perk of being neighbors with the grocery store), and head out with a list of foods that can both last a while and be incorporated into many different meals. I’m excited to partner with Vidalia Onions today and share a couple of different breakfast casserole recipes that are both hearty, delicious, and can help save a lot of time!

I’ve talked about my love for Vidalia onions a few times before but you might be wondering, “what makes these onions special?”. Well, first of all, they are only available in stores typically from April to August or September when they run out. They also add the perfect amount of sweetness to all of my favorite recipes: pasta salads, sandwiches, omelets, on burgers, honestly anything! In my opinion, they elevate every meal and are known as America’s favorite sweet onion, hand planted and harvested in only 20 counties in South Georgia. 

Two of my favorite breakfast casseroles are 1) a Mexican-inspired casserole and 2) a tater tot casserole. YUM. Just thinking about them makes my mouth water. Let’s get into the recipes:

Mexican Breakfast Casserole

 

12 eggs

1 pound of ground turkey sausage

½ large Vidalia Onion, chopped

½ red bell pepper, chopped

½ green bell pepper, chopped

16 oz mexican cheese, shredded

2 oz cilantro, coarsely chopped

1 ½ cups of milk

3 corn tortillas, cut into quarters

½ teaspoon of black pepper

 

Option for spicier casserole:

 

2 jalapeno peppers

½ teaspoon of hot sauce

 

Toppings

 

Pico de gallo

Sour cream

Avocado

 

  1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. In a large skillet, heat 1 teaspoon of olive oil. Place turkey sausage, bell peppers, and Vidalia onions over medium heat. Cook until peppers and onions are tender and sausage is browned. 
  2. While vegetables and sausage is cooking, combine cheese, cilantro, and jalapenos in a mixing bowl.
  3. In a 9 x 13 inch baking dish, place cut tortillas on the bottom of dish. Scoop ⅓ of sausage mixture onto tortillas. Repeat same process with cheese mixture, placing ⅓ of mixture onto sausage. 
  4. Repeat step 3 until there are 3 complete layers.
  5. Whisk eggs, mixing completely. Add milk, hot sauce, and pepper to beaten eggs. Pour mixture on layered sausage. 
  6. Place casserole into oven for 60-70 minutes or until knife comes out clean. 
  7. Cut into 3 x 3 inch squares. Finish with desired toppings. 

Hashbrown Muffin Breakfast Casserole Bites

 

1 ½ cups of frozen tater tots

½ large green bell pepper, chopped

½ large Vidalia onion, chopped

1 cup of shredded cheese of choice – cheddar, pepper jack, or Colby jack

8 eggs, beaten

1 cup milk

½ teaspoon black pepper

 

  1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Heat 1 teaspoon of olive oil in large skillet. Once hot, saute peppers and onions until tender. 
  2. Whisk eggs until beaten. Add milk and pepper and whisk until combined. 
  3. In a large muffin tin (1 ½ – 2 inch) place frozen tater tots on bottom. Pour pepper and onion mixture on top of tater tots. Add desired amount of cheese. 
  4. Pour egg mixture into each muffin slot, filling ⅔ full. 
  5. Place muffins in oven for 30-35 minutes, or until knife comes out clean. 

Follow along on Instagram later today where you can enter to win a 10 lb box of Vidalia onions! Have a great weekend!

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Interiors
04.21.20

Travel Art & Photography for the Home

Having spent a whole lot of time indoors and at home this season, I’ve been finding myself looking through old photos of places we’ve traveled in previous years. These days, I’ve been getting my travel fix a few different ways: through my walks with Colbie through the park (I find new spots every day and it definitely feels like we’re traveling to a new place) and through decorating our home with travel art prints. I’ve always been heavily inspired by travel photography whether it’s incorporating different images within gallery walls or just taking photos of flowers I find in the park. There is something very calming yet exciting about it. 

Today I wanted to share some of my favorite travel art prints on the internet that can hopefully help you add a little bit of adventure to your home!

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DIY Projects
04.03.20

Our Rental-Friendly Kitchen Makeover Under $500

We recently added some changes to our kitchen in our apartment and, for under $500, it feels like a totally new kitchen! We added some faux marble counter-top paper, faux backsplash subway tile, switched out the cabinet pulls for something new, and removed two of the cabinet doors to open up the space more. Watch the video above for all of the details of the process and let me know if you have any questions! We did this over a weekend and the countertops were much trickier than the backsplash but so worth it!

xo, Shelby

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Interiors
03.31.20

NYC Empty Apartment Tour

As most of you know, about a month ago we moved to NYC. With all of the time spent indoors lately, we’ve had a lot of time to decorate our apartment and make it feel more like home. Today, I wanted to share an empty apartment tour from BEFORE we started decorating and before our movers came. If you’re curious about updates and what progress we’ve made so far, you can see more here. You can shop our apartment decor here.

Hope you all are staying healthy and safe!

Shelby

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DIY Projects
03.17.20

Our Master Bathroom Makeover

One of the last home projects that we completed before making the move to NYC was our bathroom. This was something that I wanted to do since we moved in but it was a few rooms down on the priority list. When we eventually decided to re-do our bathroom, we obviously had NO idea we would be moving anytime soon. So, I ended up only using the bathtub a few times, sadly. It was a pretty big undertaking and took a couple of long months to complete (but not as long as the kitchen!). 

Let’s first talk about the design. I mocked up a mood board for the bathroom before getting started. This was the most fun part for me: selecting tile combos and color schemes. I wanted to go with an airy, calming feel with soft muted blues and neutral textures with natural elements. The only thing I didn’t end up getting to do was adding a pendant light above the bathtub. As we approached the end of this renovation and realized we would be moving, I learned that the pendant light I wanted to install would not meet inspection requirements for safety reasons, so I decided to just leave the original light. 

Incase you’re wondering, I use Canva for all of my moodboards and just drag and drop/layer different images of products I love to get a feel for the look I’m going for.

As a general rule, we usually hire someone to help us with anything plumbing or electrical related. We had to be a little more careful with this demo since there was plumbing throughout everything we were taking out. Our friend Todd had recently finished his bathroom so we called him to come over and help. He was also the one who helped us with our kitchen demo! God bless Todd. We ended up hiring someone for our electrical and plumbing work but we did end up doing the demo and everything else ourselves.

We decided to do a complete gutting of the current bathroom – vanity, flooring, walls, bathtub, shower, and shower doors. Note from TJ: If you are handling any sort of demo yourself, whenever doing any type of renovation that involves plumbing, you want to make sure the water is turned off. There is usually a main line shut off (ours was in our utility closet off the kitchen). If you can’t find the main shut off, you can always pop out to the street and turn it off there. 

The first thing to go was the old vanity. The original vanity was a double sink, so it was fairly large and, in order to get it out cleanly, we had to make sure that all the water lines and plumbing is disconnected, otherwise we would risk damage to the connections. To make it a little more manageable, we removed the cabinet doors and sink counter before trying to get the rest of the vanity out. 

Once the vanity was out, we had access to disconnect the jacuzzi tub water supply and electrical. This was one of the more difficult parts of the demo, as the tub was encased in tile. The first step was to remove all the tile and then pull out the tub from its 2×4 base. After the tub was out, we took out the shower doors. Shower doors are usually drilled into the studs in the wall since they are so heavy, so if you are removing yours make sure to take that into account. There is a lot of caulk around the shower doors, so be sure to remove that as well, unless you are planning to remove the tile like we did. The next step was to remove all of the hardware like the shower head, shower handle, and drain cover. 

At this point we had all the big things out and moved onto the tile. There are a couple of options when it comes to removing and laying down new tile. You can remove all the tile from your desired area and then 1) chisel all the excess mortar from the cement backer board or 2) pull up the cement backer board from the floor and lay down new backer board. We wanted a fresh palette, so we opted to pull up all the old backer board to lay down new ones. If you are doing a similar project, make sure the subfloor is in good enough shape to lay down new backer board. One thing we did not want to redo was the shower basin. Typically replacing a shower basin is very long process that involves laying down concrete, ensuring you have the right angle, and making sure the drain is in the correct spot.  After removing all the tile from the floor and walls we put up the new backer board. We used screws instead of nails to make sure the backer board was securely on the floor and the wall studs.

Cement backer board tip from TJ: Score and cut the backer board in a well ventilated area since there is a good bit of dust that flies when cutting the board to the size you need.

Once everything was out and the new backer board was laid down, it came time for laying new tile. For the floor tile, we chose a clean white, hexagonal pattern that came in 12in x 12in sheets. We found them at Floor and Décor in Greensboro, NC. They had SO many options and if you live close by to a location (within an hour or so), it’s totally worth it.  In order to keep your tile lined up and straight use a laser level that projects onto the floor. This will keep you on track with the mortar and laying down the tile. We had never tiled floors before (our previous projects had been all walls), but this was much easier to stay on track and moved pretty quickly. The only area where we didn’t tile on the floor was where the drain and water lines came up from the tub.

Once the floors were finished, we moved onto the wall tile. Previously, the tile in the shower only went up to about 6.5 feet in the shower and to the window sill around the bathtub. We wanted a cleaner and more complete look, so we decided to tile the entire wall with the shower and tub. In addition to that tile, we also decided to tile the wall above the vanity. It had been just drywall and paint before, but we wanted a cool contrast with a textured tile look. The tile we chose for both walls came from Home Depot. The shower wall tile we picked were long rectangles in a pale green color. Before laying the tile on the walls in the shower, we made sure to prepare the backerboard with a waterproof membrane as a little extra protection. We ended up picking 2 different color grouts – “space gray” for the floor tile and “snow white” for the wall tile. 

Once the tile was laid, we began putting the bathroom back together. We bought a new freestanding tub (the smallest one I could find), double sink vanity, and new hardware. We picked black accent hardware for the shower, bathtub, sink faucets, door handle, and towel hangers. In addition to all this new hardware, we took off the existing hardware on the vanity and replaced it with hardware that matched the rest of the bathroom. For more hardware details, watch this IGTV video we made. 

Before the renovation we had one large mirror and a strip light over the old vanity. I knew that I wanted something a little different and a little more modern so we chose to go with 2 separate circular mirrors and two gooseneck style lights to go above them. We added a small wall shelf across from the end of the bathtub too. I ordered this shelf but ended up painting it white after seeing the color wood in person.

The next step was replacing the shower doors. The old shower doors were accented in an outdated shiny gold and we knew that was not going to achieve the modern look I was going for  with the black hardware. Instead of putting back the old doors, we opted instead for clear shower doors all the way around. The hinges and handles were black, matching the other pieces in the bathroom. 

One of the last steps for the renovation was painting the walls. They were a cool shade of grey and we decided to go with a clean pure white to create a contrast with the new tile. 

To shop all bathroom details, click below, and if you have any other questions, let me know! For our exact vanity, you can find it here in various sizes!

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Lifestyle
02.25.20

My Experience With Anxiety

The other day as I was driving back from the airport, I realized that it was probably my last time for a while I’d be driving my car. With our recent move to NYC last weekend, we made the decision to leave our cars in NC and most likely sell them pretty soon. It wasn’t a hard decision for us to make as most people in NYC don’t have cars (and if they do, they pay a hefty price for parking monthly) but with walking, the subway system, and taxis/Ubers/Lyfts, I’m actually excited to leave our cars behind.

Anyways, on that drive back from the airport, I found myself feeling so happy and thankful. NOT because we were getting rid of our cars to embark on a new adventure but because I realized that it had been 10 months since I had experienced a panic attack in my car. It was such a strong sense of happiness that I felt like I needed to share about it on my Instagram story right then and there, so I did. Then I was surprised to get at least 50 messages from other people who had experienced the exact same thing… panic attacks while driving.

I think most people who experience these can agree that it is NOT panicking about driving… it becomes panicking ABOUT panicking while driving. The thought of passing out and losing control of the car while going 65 down the interstate became my biggest fear. For me, these started to occur the year I was getting married. I remember driving down to Charleston, SC for our wedding in 2017 and I would start to get sweaty, dizzy, and thought I was going to pass out so I pulled over at the nearest rest area. I thought that our wedding was giving me anxiety (which I’m sure it did) but even after our wedding, I noticed it would happen at red lights in intersections on my morning drives to work. All of sudden, I would feel my head getting dizzy and then I’d go in full on panic-mode… roll down the windows or blast the AC, turn up music, anything to get my mind on something else. Unfortunately, these panic attacks started to spread into other areas of my life… meetings at work in conference rooms, meeting friends for coffee, sitting at restaurants, even just walking around Target or the grocery store. Driving over bridges was pretty bad too. My biggest fear seriously became: having a panic attack and fainting in public. But I would say that they were the worst when driving because, clearly, it would be disastrous IF I were to lose consciousness while driving. But out of all 100 or so panic attacks in my life, I never ONCE actually passed out while driving. So what was my problem and why did I have this irrational fear?!?

I knew this started to affect the quality of my life when friends would ask to meet me for coffee and my first thought was “but this means I’m going to have to drive there and I’m going to have a panic attack”. To those who have never experienced anxiety at this level probably think this entire post sounds SO irrational and crazy but I know there are people out there who have felt this same way and I’m writing this post for them. After a few cancelled plans, I started to get down about the whole thing. Anxiety was taking over my life and I wasn’t living fully. That is when I knew I had to figure out a way to overcome this. I started doing research on my own and I felt like the word “anxiety” just didn’t even compare to what I was experiencing. I felt like I had a full-on panic disorder and I needed it to GO. I came up with a plan to try EVERYTHING I could to get back to normal when driving used to be relaxing and therapeutic for me. At that point, medication was the last resort on my list of things to try.

First, I found a therapist to go talk to. If you’ve never been to a therapist, I highly recommend it. I will say, I only went to a therapist once, twice (two different therapists, once). That sounds really confusing but I never could find a therapist who I felt really understood what I was dealing with. I limited my therapist/counselor searches to be within a 5 mile radius from me though (because I didn’t want to drive far, obv.) so I know I was really limiting myself but I just didn’t want to panic about anything else. It’s crazy how much better and calmer you can feel after talking to someone about your issues for like 30 minutes straight. Highly recommend. After both of my therapy sessions, I drove home feeling calm AF. I felt like speaking with a therapist helped me A LOT short-term.

In addition to the few times I went to a therapist/counselor, I focused on exercising first thing in the morning, eating real/non-processed foods, drinking A LOT of water, and limiting my sugar and caffeine intake. I also noticed that on weeks I’d go to church, it would be better. I also had a few coping mechanisms that helped me when driving: giving myself some grace and knowing it was OK if I took the backroads and avoided highways if needed (honestly, I took an uber to a lunch meeting once.. yolo), driving in the right lane, listening to fun/random and entertaining podcasts like Kaitlyn Bristowe’s or other Bachelor people’s podcast… lol. I’m usually a productivity or health podcast listener but I realized that what my brain needed in that moment was just something totally random, funny, and carefree to get my mind somewhere else. Also, listening to throwback 2000’s music would help me a lot. I created a playlist I could go to for when I’d feel a panic attack coming on. Just picture a girl driving across a massive bridge BLASTING “Dem Franchize Boyz” trying not to pass out… that was me. That was my life. Of course, rolling windows down, putting AC on high also helped. CBD oil started to become popular during this time too and I’ll tell you, that really did help! If you haven’t tried CBD oil, I highly recommend it, but make sure to find the best quality brands.

After about a year and a half of living with this though, I had had enough. I felt like I was trying everything and it wasn’t 100% gone. CBD oil definitely would help but it wasn’t 100% for me. That’s when I decided to go see a doctor. I was always very anti-medication, if possible. Growing up, my sisters and I never took any medication unless we were sick. Before this last trip to the doctor, I had seen a couple of doctors who prescribed me various medications for anxiety but I was always too afraid to actually go get the prescription filled. The prescription just collected dust or stayed crumbled up at the bottom of my purse. BUT, last April, I felt like it was causing borderline-depression so I had a doctor write me a prescription for the smallest possible dose of Lexapro. This medication takes 6 weeks or so to reach it’s maximum efficacy but even after 1 week, I was feeling a difference. I don’t want you to rush out and go ask your doctor for Lexapro, but, for the first time in my life I felt like I was living life fully and living life like a normal non-anxious person. I feel like it was the best decision I have ever made for my overall health and I am so, so thankful for it. I haven’t experienced any panic attacks at all while driving, I’ve been able to go on stage in front of very large audiences for speaking events staying cool as a cucumber, meet up with friends and grow relationships without panicking about panicking, and I just can’t even explain how thankful I am. I don’t know if I’ll stop taking it anytime soon but, for now, I feel like my brain has been reset back to normal. The science is complicated and I am not a doctor but I feel like my brain was very chemically unbalanced. Everyone is different and different things work for different people so I just wanted to share what has worked for ME and have this post make you realize that you are not alone and that the struggles you are facing are not permanent. I thought I was going to experience panic attacks for the rest of my life and I haven’t had one since April. About anything. And I’ve experienced QUITE a lot of major life changes lately. I still worry about things that are truly concerning but as far as worrying about irrational things that probably aren’t going to happen, I’ve completely stopped doing that.

So, hopefully you don’t feel alone in whatever you are struggling with! The beautiful thing about the internet and social media is that you can find others who are dealing with the same things you are dealing with in life. If you have any questions, let me know, but I encourage you to at least book an appointment with a therapist or doctor if you haven’t before! It could potentially make a huge difference.

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Wellness
01.28.20

Fitness Intentions for the Year

If you read my last post, you know that we’re moving to NYC soon! There are SO many changes I’m excited for but one thing I’m really excited for about the change is spending more time outdoors. We’re selling our cars and we’ll be spending a LOT more time walking from place to place. It’ll be a whole new way of life, really. I’m also looking forward to more fitness events in the city, running through the park, and potentially joining a new gym in our future neighborhood. Living close to a park is a priority for us since we’ll have Colbie with us and, since we’ll also be downsizing, I’ve been going through our closet and deciding which items to keep and which ones to part with. I’ve noticed that most of the brands I’m bringing along with me are the higher quality pieces that have lasted years like The North Face, Patagonia, Alo Yoga, Nike, and more.

One of my favorite places to shop for outdoor and fitness outfits has always been Backcountry.com. I love that when you shop there for the first time, you’ll also get 15% off your order with the code SHELBY15. Plus, their semi-annual sale just started last week and they marked down some REALLY great items 30% off through the end of February. Some of my latest finds have been these Alo Yoga High Waisted Moto Leggings (wearing a S) and Freestyle Sweatshirt (these come in a variety of colors). On one of our latest trips to look for a new home up in the city, we went for a walk/run through Central Park and there was still some snow on the ground from the previous week. It was beautiful (but really chilly) so I layered up with this Patagonia Down Sweater Vest. I ordered it in the color “Birch White” and I love how it can be worn with practically everything! 

I’ve also been wanting to get back into running and outdoor workouts in general. Back in college, I ran half-marathons with my mom and, although I think my long distance days are over, I love getting out for fresh air and running just a few miles at a time to start the day. I found these Nike Air Zoom Pegasus Running Shoes and have loved them so far! I love the unique tortoise shell design on the side of them with the pink laces too!

Going into the new year in a new location had me thinking about some intentions as we embark on this new journey. Since we’ll be living near Central Park, I want to: 1) get outside for a workout at least a few times a week (especially once it starts to warm up), 2) get out of my comfort zone and try a new class each month (NYC is a dream for fitness classes), and 3) do most of this in the mornings! I’ve learned this about myself but I don’t do well with afternoon/evening workouts. I’m much more apt to get it done in the morning, especially if I have all of my clothes picked out the night before. Then, I’m able to be much more productive throughout the rest of the day.

I’ll share some more of my favorite Backcountry.com favorites below and don’t forget that you can get 15% off using SHELBY15 on your first order! Speaking of NYC, Backcountry also just opened up a pop-up on Spring Street in SoHo so, if you live up there, definitely worth checking out!

This post is sponsored by Backcountry.com. All opinions my own.

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NYC Apartment
01.26.20

Life Update… We’re Moving!

Note: This post was written Thursday night and, since then, there have been some changes so I’ll share those at the bottom.

WHERE WE ARE MOVING

NC will always, always, always be home (and we will be back long term) BUT we are MOVING. TO NEW YORK CITY. Like, NEXT WEEK. And it feels SO GOOD to finally be able to share this after such a long 4 month process. I don’t even know where to begin. I feel like I have months and months to catch you up on. I tend to be an over-sharer when it comes to a lot of things in life but this situation just felt different and it’s been really hard to not share every detail. I knew I needed to make this decision on my own, with TJ, and take into account a lot of factors. The entire process was also incredibly stressful, challenging, exciting, discouraging, all at the same time and I wanted it to feel real and official before sharing the news! It’s something that feels so right but also so out of character for me at the same time.

HOW THIS CAME ABOUT

First of all, 6-ish months ago TJ asked me if I wanted to move to NYC… after all, he spends the majority of his time traveling there for his job. If you’re not familiar with what TJ does, he works in software sales and his territory is New York City. His job requires 75% travel so, looking back at the last year, I didn’t really see him a whole lot. He flies there every week. Whenever he would mention the opportunity of moving there though, I would give it zero thought and laugh. I wouldn’t even entertain the idea, honestly. Plus, you’ve probably seen how much time we’ve put into our home here in NC and the idea of living more than 30 minutes from my family never even crossed my mind. The idea of downsizing in space never crossed my mind. The idea of living in a different state never crossed my mind, let alone one of the largest cities. And the idea of selling our house 2 years after moving in sure as heck didn’t cross my mind. I mean, we literally just renovated our bathroom to be exactly what I wanted. So, you can say that I was extremely close-minded about moving anywhere any time soon. But sometimes, you just can’t really plan your life. I remember sitting at coffee with a friend just back in July and she asked, “Do you think you guys will stay in the Raleigh area forever?” and I vividly remember believing and saying, “Yes, I really love our little suburb town and I can’t see why we would ever leave”. Isn’t it crazy how much can change in just the course of a few months?!

AT FIRST I WAS 100% AGAINST THE IDEA

Over time, different events led me to slowly become more and more open minded about the idea of moving there. I had an event in New York back in August and we visited friends for pizza and wine later that night on their rooftop in the Financial District. The weather, the view, the food, the company, the energy… everything just felt really right. That was the day when my mind started shifting a little. Just a little! It took me another 3 months though to really be all-in. Day by day, the pros started to outweigh the cons and I realized what is most important to me (spending time with TJ) and that life is just really short so why not?! I envisioned what our life could look like if we decided to make the move: First of all, TJ wouldn’t travel!!!!! I repeat… TJ would. not. travel. I didn’t want another year of seeing him 25% of the time. That right there is the main pro to all of this. I can’t even remember what it feels like to have him come home after work. Then I started to think about walks with Colbie and TJ through Central Park, learning a completely new way of life, attending exciting events for my job, meeting new people, waking up each weekend and exploring a new neighborhood with TJ (and not having to do as many house projects lol), living close to literally every store and food I can think of, the list just goes on. This opportunity began to present itself in a way that I couldn’t ignore and it started to become difficult to picture our life down the road if we didn’t move. It’s a rare opportunity for everything to align so perfectly to move there. His job’s relocation package, the fact that we don’t have kids yet, we even had people wanting to buy our house before we even knew we were going to sell it! It just all seemed to align too perfectly that it was hard to pass up when I knew deep down that years later I would ask myself “what if?”.

BUT WHAT ABOUT OUR HOUSE?!

The hardest part about leaving isn’t that we’ll be saying bye to our first home, although, it did take me a long time to accept that. I know I’ll be getting messages like “but your HOUSE!”. At the end of the day, it’s just a house. When we moved into this house, it was JUST a house… a very basic house. We then took our own skills and design and made it into what it looks like now. We will be taking those skills and ideas with us wherever we go throughout our life. As much as I have LOVED designing our house and using it as a blank canvas for my design style, you only live once and there is more to life than having a “pretty house”. I’d rather spend every day with TJ in a box than live alone most of the time in this house. Home is much more of a feeling… not just walls and a roof and I’m confident that I can make ANYTHING feel like “home” to us, even a little NYC apartment. Yes, of course, saying bye is tough, especially when we’re moving somewhere three times as small and three times as expensive…lol. But I knew that when we bought this house that we would only live there a few years and I still believe that we will want to raise a family down here in North Carolina. My plan is for us to move back down here in 2ish years and we can possibly build a home. Who knows? I might have a baby up in the city. Again, life throws you some interesting curve balls. BUT the hardest part is definitely leaving family. Not being 30 minutes down the road from dinner at my parent’s house or seeing my sister and cousins whenever we want will be the hardest part. Luckily, it’s just a quick 1 hour and 10 minute flight and our family has been really encouraging about all of this. They’re really excited for us and it makes it a lot easier for us to leave.

FINDING AN APARTMENT IN NYC

The first time we looked at apartments back in October, we came back home to Colbie being diagnosed with a splenic tumor and a 75% chance that her life would be drastically shortened to just a few more months. At that point, the moving-to-NYC thing had been put on pause because I really couldn’t see my life there without her and without my family. If Colbie was not going to be around, I didn’t want to move there. I know some people might say “she’s just a dog” but she’s been there with us through almost our entire 20’s, job changes, life changes, graduating, hard times, literally everything. The thought of living in a new city without her and without family was terrifying. It was such a scary and depressing week of waiting for her results to come back and her health was the only thing I could think about. It also didn’t help that during that trip, we didn’t find any apartments that we could see ourselves living in. Everything we looked at was dark and dreary and it rained every day that week we were there. I was like… “is this a sign?”. BUT, after her surgery (which the vets also didn’t think she would make through but we had to try) when we found out Colbie was cancer-free, miraculously, (seriously, I thank God every single freaking day for this…), we planned another apartment hunting trip after she had recovered for a month or so. Life went back to normal and my excitement grew. During that trip, we discovered that we absolutely LOVED the Upper East Side. It felt like a place we could totally see ourselves living in and from then on, it was just a waiting game of refreshing Streeteasy until I found something I loved. I miss it just thinking about it now.

NYC REAL ESTATE IS HARSH

Me trying to find an apartment within our budget in NYC that I actually loved, was close to a subway station, had good natural light, a decent kitchen, dog-friendly, elevator/doorman, in the area we loved, (you can go ahead and forget about washer/dryer in unit) was like me trying to find a hidden treasure. Or a bobby pin in our house…. very, very challenging. And yes, I know we could have found something much easier outside of Manhattan but… I had my heart set on Manhattan (especially since we know we won’t be living there forever).  I’ll have to write a whole post on the apartment hunting process there but, for now, just know that it was not the most fun process for me. I’m a very particular person, especially when it comes to home stuff, and if we were going to be paying so much for a place to live, it needed to at least be semi-cute… mmmkay?! I’m not the most patient though and home decor is a huge part of my business too so it had to have potential if ya know what I mean!

WE FOUND AN APARTMENT!

The day we found our apartment I was SO EXCITED… but then we were told that the owners were going to move forward with another couple, and I felt really discouraged. Somehow, the next day they came back and decided to move forward with our application on Dec. 8th. The entire application process took a while, especially with this specific apartment being a “co-op” as opposed to a regular condo… and with the holidays. Co-ops have much stricter approval processes. We had to get 6 letters of recommendation, hand over literally every financial document and statement imaginable, and be interviewed in person by the board of our building before being approved. On top of that, being self-employed doesn’t make these situations any easier. After weeks of waiting for an interview invite, we FINALLY got invited to go meet the board! Once you’re invited to the co-op interview, you’re 95% of the way through the process… just gotta make it through the interview. The next morning after the interview, we found out WE WERE APPROVED by the board and WE HAD AN APARTMENT to live in finally! My dream apartment, really. *please read this post until the end*

I’ve learned so much about NYC real estate but, for anybody interested in moving there, just know that it is a pretty rigorous process and it’s nothing like renting an apartment down here. It was way more stressful than when we bought a house (and that was stressful). So, it is safe to say we are very, very, very, VERY relieved now that we have a home and are going to move in soon! AND it’s the home we both fell in love with. *again, please read this until the end*

I am excited for this next chapter in our life. A chapter that we didn’t even know was about to be written 6 months ago but that’s just how life works I guess! You can plan your days all you want but you can’t plan your life. Pages are written out that you don’t even know exist. I’ve also gotten really excited about being able to focus on making a smaller space a home. I’ve been purging our home for the last couple of months and couldn’t believe how much stuff we had. We have given practically every piece of furniture to friends or family and my creative juices are flowing with ideas for this apartment. I 100% plan on continuing to share home inspiration just as much as I have here… just more renter friendly! I’ve heard that living in NYC isn’t easy but I’m up for all the challenges that it has in store and we’re SO ready for it! 2020 is looking to be the year of spontaneity, new adventures, and personal growth. I can’t wait to take you along with me for it.

OKAY, PLOT TWIST:
Yesterday (Saturday), as I was at the store filling up NYC balloons since we were so excited about our new apartment, we got a call. It was the broker. She was like “This was a call that I never thought I’d have to make but… the owners of the apartment just got a last minute offer from someone wanting to BUY the apartment and it was an offer too high to pass up”. I was in shock. We had already had our movers scheduled, heck, I even ordered a desk from Pottery Barn to be delivered there!

STARTING OVER:

So, we’re back at square 1 with finding an apartment as of today, Sunday the 26th. But, this time, I’ve decided I’m going to bring you along with me for the hunt. Moving to NYC takes resilience and I have found that I’m much more resilient than I thought. I just have to trust that the right one will come along in the next couple of weeks and we’ll hopefully be up there within the next few weeks.

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